The Difficult Path
Some have wondered about the connection to our friend, Chuck Hagel, who spoke at Zatha’s graduation and commissioning a few weeks ago, and who mentioned Hans and Zatha in his speech. Mr. Hagel is now the Secretary of Defense but we got to know him and his family when Eric worked as a Legislative Fellow in 2005 for Hagel when he was a U.S. Senator from the great state of Nebraska (original home to my father’s side of the family, including Zatha’s namesake, my grandma Zatha). We also attended the local Episcopal church there in DC with the Hagel family. We had joked it would be cute if Zatha and their son Ziller became a couple: Zatha & Ziller sounds like a famous couple to me.
Mr. Hagel was praised by some and criticized by others for his speech that day. He had three main messages: connect with the people you lead, understand different perspectives, and, most importantly, be humble. Many fellow parents of the now-commissioned officers took the last recommendation as an admonishment, but I took it simply as a reminder, especially in today's world of reality shows and social media popularity contests, to engage in a lost phenomena: humbleness. Our culture tends to honor and promote a false sense of accomplishment in our youth, rather than real accomplishments like hard work, education, and truly mastering an art, science, or sport, not with just sheer talent but with hard work and dedication. We parents, however, don’t have to be humble about our kids, because if don’t brag about them, who will? We should, though, be championing their true accomplishments, not false ones.
Hans was humble. His roommates at the Academy didn’t know that he was a talented drummer. His best friend there didn’t know he was an accomplished marksman and multi-year summer camp counselor at the NRA’s Whittington Center. His company-mates didn’t know he was the North Carolina Triathlon Series champion in his age group three years in a row. There is so much more cool stuff about Hans that most people don’t know, and probably what most of you do know about the incredibly cool things he did came from me on Facebook, not from him. Hans was humble.
And Hans was on a humble warrior’s path. For years he wanted to be a Navy Seal. But he didn’t tell people about it (though I did) because he was not arrogantly confident that he would make it. He didn’t brag about his hurricane surfing skills, his kitesurfing skills, his marksmanship skills, his rock climbing skills, his slacklining skills, his bow hunting skills, or computer hacking skills (sorry, couldn’t help myself – the last two are a reference to one of Hans’s favorite movies “Napoleon Dynamite”). Hans didn’t carry any false sense of accomplishments and, because of his humbleness, didn’t brag about his true accomplishments or of future possible accomplishments. Regardless of what he could have/would have become, he was proud and fearless on that warrior’s path, proud to be part of the world’s finest military from our great country.
After graduation and talking with several of Zatha’s fellow officers and some of Hans’s classmates and future officers, I was struck with consternation at some of their conflicting thoughts of reconciling their chosen career as warrior leaders with the popular apologist view that we are an imperialist nation trying to impose our culture on other countries. We are not an imperialist nation, but who wouldn’t want freedom and liberty imposed on their country? Who wouldn’t want help from a military that promotes, protects, and sometimes even introduces a safer opportunity for individuals to be free to choose ways to better themselves? And why do we feel the need to apologize for America? I do believe we are the greatest country on earth because of our God-given (not government-granted) rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, proclaimed in our Declaration of Independence and guaranteed in our brilliant Constitution.
We may not always be the classiest country, and I may not like Miley Cyrus and her crude behavior, or Kanye West and his arrogant classlessness but it means our women and men are free! Some of you may not like bikinis or short shorts or tattoos but I'm glad we can wear/have/get them and not be beaten or jailed by “moral clothing police.” Our women can drive, vote, and go topless (on south Topsail Island). Our people can voice their opinions and beliefs on Facebook, in newspapers, on the street, opinions that may be contrary to our government or leaders, and not be jailed or killed for it. So it's not about imposing our culture upon others but about protecting liberty and freedom, and sometimes defending our country from countries or cultures that try to destroy that liberty and freedom.
Hans was and Zatha is proud to have chosen the more difficult path of attending the Naval Academy, of taking a warrior’s path, of serving our country. As I have said before that not all of us celebrate the same way or believe in the same things, not everyone can or should make the choice to serve in the military. But we are proud of our kids for choosing the more difficult path, and, believe me, it is difficult there.
It didn’t take Hans dying for me to feel frustration with people who choose easier paths and then still complain, or feel some anger towards people who abuse or don’t appreciate their life. My son appreciated life and lived it to the fullest. Why is he dead? But the beauty on the flip side of that is that we are free to choose, free to choose even the easy way. Free to complain. Free.
Those of you who know me know that I’m not fond of most rules. Rules limit behavior and, little by little, erode our liberties (and we can have spirited debate as to the scope and need of so many rules). Did you know that it is illegal to skateboard in all of Surf City, North Carolina? Sec. 17-66 (a) of the Surf City Ordinances state:
“It shall be unlawful to skate or go upon on rollerskates or skateboards on any of the streets or sidewalks within the boundaries of the town.”
Though we are still a free country I fear we are becoming a nation of safety freaks, governed by more and more rules trying to protect us from ourselves, a nation that encourages safely moving your pawn back and forth, something Hans also found very frustrating. And people are starting to confuse legality and morality because of it – is it immoral to ‘break the law’ by skateboarding in Surf City? I also can’t tell you how many times Hans was shut down from slacklining, another one of his fun and, in some places, illegal/against-the-rules activities.
So when you meet a rule-breaker, a renegade, a free spirit, try to imagine a world without them and think of how dull it would be. Embrace people who question, who engage in spirited debates. And maybe even break a few rules yourself. If you need a little motivation, just watch this video of Hans slacklining, and think of the lyrics to this beautiful song Hans chose to accompany it:
Sweet disposition
Never too soon
Oh, reckless abandon
Like no one's watching you
A moment of love
A dream
A laugh
A kiss
A cry
Our rights
Our wrongs
A moment of love
A dream
A laugh
A moment of love
A dream
A laugh
So stay there
'Cause I'll be coming over
While our blood's still young
It's so young, it runs
Won't stop 'til it's over
Won't stop to surrender
Songs of desperation
I played them for you
A moment of love
A dream
A laugh
A kiss
A cry
Our rights
Our wrongs
A moment of love
A dream
A laugh
A moment of love
A dream
A laugh
Stay there
'Cause I'll be coming over
While our blood's still young
It's so young, it runs
Won't stop 'til it's over
Won't stop to surrender
Won't stop 'til it's over
Won't stop 'til it's over
Won't stop 'til it's over
Won't stop to surrender
P.S. I’ve been sitting on this post for many days and had planned from the beginning to share with it Hans’s slacklining video. I upload this post while attending the American Nuclear Society conference with Eric in Reno. The resort has piped-in music 24/7 and for the last two days all we’ve heard is music from the ‘80s and ‘90s. Last night as Eric and I exited the elevator and began walking the long hallway to the President’s Reception this song began playing. As we entered the reception with tears already brimming in our eyes, the current President of the Society, Donald Hoffman, pulled us aside to tell us of the Society’s establishment of a scholarship in Hans’s honor.
You can donate here (click on the link "Scholarship Donations" to the left): http://www.ans.org/honors/scholarships/loewen/
